Today, I had the day that Gaylen had yesterday, just different criteria. It was very difficult and it was all I could do to not take the rash action of leaving my job immediately. However, I am already in process of changing jobs; I just don’t know when my last day will be.
I had to do a lot of talking today with family and friends to process everything that happened in the first nine minutes of my workday this morning. My blood pressure rose as I walked in the door, and is only now returning to normal.
I talked to my oldest daughter quite a bit, and she reminded me of many things I’m sure I taught her along the way (but completely forgot today), and that makes me beam with pride. Not because I taught her, but because of the lovely woman she has become. And what makes me beam more is that much of her wisdom, wit, and generosity has absolutely nothing to do with me, and everything to do with who she is. And that is all credited to a power much, much greater than me.
Some of the things she told me:
- You do have a safety net
- Don’t cry on the way home, mom, because then they will have won
- They must be really miserable people
- In the long run, these people will be nothing to you
- Time to focus on living life, not stressing about work
- I understand
So, after chiropractor and physical therapy, in which my back seized up and was as bad as ever, I stopped at the flooring store near home. I’m getting ready to install all new flooring in my home. It was so exciting and liberating to start the shopping process knowing that soon I will have a beautiful home, just the way I want. New floors, paint, drapery hardware hung, and then I can sew those gorgeous drapes I’ve been hoping to get to soon.
The lady at the flooring store described my decorating style as Tuscan. I always thought I was more traditional or French country, but I guess not, now that I research it. That will be interesting – Tuscan, with Hawaiian draperies.
Here’s an indication of what I like. Look at the floor color. This is what I’m looking to install. And the wall color is what I already have in the front room, and more of a milky coffee color with chocolate in the family area. And this entry hall and mirror is just gorgeous.
(Photo courtesy of Accents of Salado at www.accentsofsalado.com)
I also had a flash of decorating inspiration. I have some slabs in the garage of classic 1960s travertine marble. One slab is from an end table and the other is from a coffee table, but is broken in two. I had kept it, not only because it’s travertine marble, but because I thought creating new frames for the marble for end tables would be cool. Now I have a different idea. Why not have it cut into 12×12 squares and use it to frame my gas fireplace with a chunky wood mantle? I won’t know if there is enough until I measure everything and take it to the store for advice, but it sure sounds like a cool idea.
So, those are my happy thoughts. Happy thoughts breed happy feet and all that happy horseshit (as my late father would lovingly say.) Seriously though – I know the only way to change a thought is to replace it with something else, so I’m replacing the stressful, destructive thoughts with pleasant and soothing thoughts. It works, it really does.