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Law and [dis]Order

May 22, 2007

I’ve been silent the last day or so because I had to spend all day yesterday in court. I was subpoenaed to testify against my youngest daughter’s ex-boyfriend (not the preggy one, the other one) in a criminal assault case. The incident happened June 18, 2006 and it’s been postponed over and over. He wanted a jury trial, so he got one.

Backing up to the date of the incident. Not a lot of detail, but the gist of it is that I got a call in the middle of the night from my DD that he had attacked her and tried to strangle her. There was abuse prior to this, but I was unaware of most of it. He had verbally abused her over and over and taunted her about very sensitive things, and he’d cheated on her. They’d not been together long, and she’d been the sole source of income. If it weren’t for her, me, and her grandmother, they would have been evicted – twice – and had their utilities turned off. Ugh. Drama. Ugh.

Anyway, she called the cops that night at my urging, and he was arrested. He spilled his guts to the officer that he’d “gone off” and choked her. She had bruises on her neck and arms and a nasty scratch on her arm. He had sat on her hip to hold her down when he attacked her. She has lingering issues with that hip still.

His attorney was a crazy lady. She was the aunt of his ex girlfriend. (Gee, does this sound like something out of a soap opera?) She had absolutely no clue what she was doing and asked the stupidest questions of the court.

When he testified he just plain LIED. Bold faced lies to the jury, and they bought it. Hook, line, and sinker. He was found not-guilty. Didn’t matter that there were three police officers, a paramedic, and me who testified. Didn’t matter that my daughter told the truth. He got away with it. And he’s 6’1″, she’s 5’2″, and he said it was self defense. Give me a freaking break.

What gives? I thought when you were sworn in you were bound to tell the truth? Do people just not care anymore? Are there no morals? Are we resigned to consoling ourselves and our loved ones by saying “Well, that’s just bad karma for him” or “He’ll get what he deserves someday.” I really don’t believe it completely. I believe in karma, and I believe in justice, but it is completely beyond me that someone can get on the stand and straight out lie.


Anyway, now my DD has come down with acute bronchitis, which, I’m sure, is a direct result of the stress.

I’ll be glad when she is back to normal health.

  1. BjP permalink
    May 22, 2007 7:35 pm

    Oh my. I’m so sorry to read about the abuse as well as the trial outcome. I’ve sat on a couple of juries that made me wonder why some people are so willing to believe the wrong people. I was in a very abusive first marriage and I know how that type of man can lie and look oh-so innocent. Bah.

    Your DD got a hard lesson in life (not that she needed another one) but she mustn’t give up faith in men or the “system”. The most important thing for now is that she’s out of the relationship, she’s moving forward and she knows she told the truth. That’s being a winner!

    Hugs to all of you.

  2. thesecretpocket permalink
    May 23, 2007 3:36 am

    I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope she can recover and move on and away from him for good.

  3. May 23, 2007 4:44 am

    Some times I’m so disappointed in a system that seems to reward the bad guys. So sorry to hear about the outcome. Hope Stacy recovers soon and gets well. g

  4. May 23, 2007 5:43 am

    Thanks ladies for your support. It means a lot. She is going to be fine – and likely stronger for this. She’s learned a lot, she tells me, and still, thankfully, hasn’t lost hope of having a lovely husband and children some day. Hopefully I’ve set a good example for her as well, having left her abusive father when she was less than two years old, never to return to that sort of relationship again. Funny how these things run in families, even when you try to break the cycle. My biological sister, who I never grew up with, also chose abusive men. Weird.

  5. May 23, 2007 8:20 am

    Sounds like you’re able to help her with a lesson that can be hard to learn – our justice system doesn’t ‘fix’ things. It doesn’t repair broken hearts or make us able to trust, even when it works. And it often doesn’t because it’s not perfect. It may be the best in the world, but it still leaves us in need of healing. For that, we look to our moms, friends, family and anyone else who can help us draw strength from within. Blessings to all of you.

  6. May 23, 2007 9:40 am

    Sending big hugs to your daughter!

  7. May 23, 2007 4:32 pm

    first, hugs to you and your dd. second, big round of applause to your dd for having the courage to bring this guy to court.

    i know it will sound cynical, but any guy who thinks it is okay to beat a woman doesn’t think twice about lying. clearly, the guy has no morals.

  8. May 24, 2007 4:57 am

    Dear Claire, I just read the comment you posted here and wanted to add some special big ((((hugs))))) for *you* too!

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