Where are we? In High School?
I never realized that my posts about Stitch and Bitch and Needle Exchange of the Knitting Kind would draw comments that actually supported my initial perception of knitting cliques. I had hoped to be proven wrong. Many of my readers commented that my experience was not the norm. I’ve belonged to some sewing forums and I’ve observed flaming between members or ganging up on one member, yet I’ve never been the recipient of it – until today.
Before I tell you this story, I’d like to state my philosophy around commenting on blogs. I do not moderate my comments. I welcome differing opinions and points of view. I am not always right, and I’m open to learning new things. However, when the commenter turns to disparaging remarks or berating of me or my loyal readers, I will not tolerate that. The whole idea of a blog, in my opinion, is to solicit conversations and differing points of view. That’s what makes life colorful and interesting, and that is what helps us all grow as people. However, when the discussion turns mean or bitchy or downright rude and only serves to make the commenter feel better while trying to take someone else down a peg, then that’s not okay by me.
Today I received a comment by a woman who clearly didn’t like what I said about a local yarn shop near me and my experience with exchanging needles. Not only did she have a differing opinion, but she made an insinuation about my grandson that he was the reason the store owner was cold towards me. And she made a very rude remark toward one of my faithful readers. At first I responded to her comment, thanking her for the differing opinion, but then warned her that if her disparaging and rude comments continued, I would just delete her comments. I would not tolerate it.
A short while later, she commented on the first post I had (“Stitch and Bitch”) about the same yarn store, This time she was just plain rude. I didn’t bother commenting, but just deleted both comments, and mine included.
Later, I received a more polite comment from another reader, explaining her point of view about exchanging needles. I’ve left that comment as it exhibits a different point of view, and some very good points (which I’ll address later) about just why yarn stores do not exchange needles.
However, what really appalled me was what I found when I did a bit of research. See, WordPress lets you see who your readers are, and combined with SiteMeter, I can find out exactly where they are coming from. If you, Internet, think your comments are anonymous, think again. With very little effort, I found that my blog posts and the person’s comments were the subject of conversation on Ravelry.com, a site I had joined and blogged about also, with positive opinions. Since not everyone has access to Ravelry – yet – here’s the conversation for your reading pleasure – or displeasure. I’m posting it here so you can interpret this for yourself.
kiko: This so-and-so’s blog post really pissed me off and it felt so good to comment to her.
eta: The blogger blocked my comment already. Sorry you can’t read it, but her post is funny anyway.
skeincocaine: I couldn’t see where you commented on that blog post…you really let her have it, eh?
jingerly: Wow. That sucks. The only time we’d ever let anyone return needles for that reason would be up to the next day and that’s it. Two weeks is plenty of time to finish something and give the needles back. I love that her blog post even mentions that the packaging is just a ziplock bag, which is precisely the reason why most stores won’t take things back. I hope that you do comment because maybe she just doesn’t see things from both sides…
kiko: I had already left my comment, and yes skeincocaine I really let her have it. She read it and she blocked it. I made my point and that made my day!
skeincocaine: Good for you…I would have loved to have read what you commented to her…but I can only imagine! Hee.
It’s crap like this that gives women a bad name. It makes me embarassed for my gender. I know not all women are like this – more often than not, we can rise above stuff like this and walk away. But when grown women decide to act like stupid little high school girls in a clique, well… I’ve given these silly girls more air time than they deserve.