Finding, losing, and then finding again
Friends, that is.
When I was divorced the first time at the age of 22, my daughters were 2 and 3-1/2 years old. When they were in preschool and kindergarten or first grade, they changed schools and it was there I met April and her two daughters. She was also a single mom, my age, and her girls were the same ages and in the same classes as my two girls. We hit it off and became fast friends. At one point we even lived in neighboring apartments; she lived downstairs, I was upstairs. When I had social events through work, I brought April with me. We got babysitters and went out and did all the things young twenty-something women do. We were nearly inseparable. Our daughters were so similar too in style, temperament, and attitudes. They all celebrated each others birthdays, and April and I supported each other through the struggles of single motherhood, raising girls alone, and trying to date.
When my daughters were about 8 and 9, I moved away and slowly April and I lost touch. I visited her once when I was in her area on a business trip, and likewise, when she was up here, I drove down to her hotel to have dinner with her. However, she remarried, and so did I eventually, and life just got in the way of staying in touch with each other.
Along comes the Internet and MySpace. I have often thought of April and her girls and wondered how they were. I’d searched on sites like ZabaSearch.com, Pipl.com looking for her, to no avail. I’d get tired of searching, other things would occupy my mind, and I’d forget about looking for her until her name popped into my head again, and I’d start searching all over again.
Finally, a couple days ago, I decided to look on MySpace for her youngest daughter and within minutes I found her. Within a few minutes after that, I messaged her, she called me, and we were all reunited. Last night, I spent about an hour and a half reconnecting with my friend and we vowed not to let ourselves lose touch with each other again.
So, why do I write about this? Finding lost friends through the Internet is nothing new or revolutionary. It happens all the time, every day. But for me, this particular friend is special. She and I shared (and still do) the bond of single motherhood, even though we eventually each remarried or had a significant relationship. We were still moms doing what moms do.
I also believe everything happens for a reason. I believe people come and go in each others lives for a reason, but we often don’t know what that reason is until the time has passed. I do know that I still feel that same connection with April today that I felt twenty-five years ago. Friends like that don’t come along every day. No more letting umpteen years go by without a word.
Today, my oldest daughter and her little family are meeting up with both her daughters and her granddaughter down in California where my daughter is on vacation. (April and I are now both grandmothers and have granddaughters that are almost the same age.) I wish I could be there, or at least a fly on the wall.
I love life and the turns it takes, how it is ever changing, yet still unchanging.