Seen in the (online dating) wild…
** Warning: Snark infested waters ahead **
I decided to test the waters and venture forth into online dating. I’d tried this before several years ago and wasn’t successful. Actually, I gave up early because all the men that responded to me were either way too old for me (as in 15+ years older) or looking for “one thing” only, and it wasn’t honorable.
It’s a strange world out there, and maybe I should be careful about expecting too much, but attention to detail is important to me, as is correct spelling. So, for your entertainment – or maybe it’s just for my entertainment – here’s a bit of what I’ve come across so far.
My profile has seven pictures on it – all nice ones, I think.
Guy #1 messaged me and said “Nice photo. Do you have more?” To which I replied, “Which of my seven photos were you referring to?”
Okay, so that smartass comment probably won’t win me any points, but seriously… if you are going to impress a woman, at least take the time to make sure you chose the right pre-written standard reply.
More from the same guy: “not much in the bar scence these days.I work full time time in the Computer field.I care for three parrots that live with me they are very similiar to kids as you can get.”
Really? Parrots are like kids? How so?
Guy #2’s first intro sentence: “The feature that captures my attention is the butt”
Ah, well, then. I’m in luck.
And his closing sentence: “my ideal mate is not so small i like a little meat on I’m not in beeriest to be with girls are bigger i pa fer a big but”
I’m sure that will win some girl’s heart. Just not mine.
Guy #3: “I am self motavated with lots of common scents and love to listen.”
And which scents would those be? Lavender? Vanilla? or Pina Colada?
Okay, so I could find more. But I also found more profiles that I liked than I could make fun of. And one guy messaged me about 2 weeks ago – before I signed up – and asked me to coffee. I responded and said yes, but I’m still waiting to hear back. Maybe he’s going to wait two weeks because he thought that’s what I did. I didn’t even see the message until yesterday. 🙂 But I do hope he responds because I need some coffee.
Until then, I guess I’ll make my own coffee.