Feeling Good in Shoes & A Rapidly Changing Body
First, I promised pictures, and here you go. I finally got my new jogging shoes. I hesitate to call them running shoes because I don’t run, like a *real* runner, but more like a jog interspersed with stretches of brisk walking. But just you wait. <smiles> These are Brooks shoes (not sure the model name) and I got a great deal on them at the local Brooks outlet store that my chiropractor sent me to.
It’s absolutely amazing to me what a new pair of shoes does to me. I grew up with wide feet and I hated my feet, along with other unfounded body image issues. (By that, I mean, I was not a fat kid growing up and the flaws in my body image were in my faulty self-perception, for whatever reason.) To put on a pair of shoes – any shoes – and have them fit right off the bat is amazing to me and joyfully refreshing. These shoes are very comfortable and put a new spring in my step! It’s cold here today, but not raining, and not yet snowing (there’s a threat of the S word in the forecast – UGH) so I’m going to break them in with some activity later today.
Meanwhile, here are the adorable cute dress shoes I got this weekend at the JC Penneys sale.
(Miss Maxie is showing off her little paws too.)
I love these gray shoes. I’m totally into the gray/pink combo and these will go nicely with a cute skirt that I will make out of my stash… sometime soon.
Next, a standard, classic pair of patent leather pumps. I *heart* patent leather. Takes me back to the days when I was a little girl and my mother dressed me up in patent leather Mary Janes, button down wool coats, velvet hats, and matching gloves. (I’ll have to dig out those pictures to show you! That will be a blast.)
These are a sort of wine-purple color. I love them. I have a coat that they match perfectly with, and that was unintentional.
I also tried on clothes yesterday at Penneys as well (ended up purchasing five tops for $25 – I couldn’t make them that cheap!) However…<drum roll, please> I fit into a size 8 skirt! Holy. Crap. Size 8? Yes, I know that clothing manufacturers have vanity sizing and everyone is different, but a year ago I had to go to Lane Bryant (a plus-size women’s store) and my jean size was size 18, pushing 20. Now, my new size 12 Dockers are a comfortable fit. Yesterday, I was pulling mediums and smalls off the rack and passing up larges and extra larges whispering to myself “That’s too big for me.” Those aren’t words that have been in my vocabulary when at a normal store, rather, it was usually “That’s too small for me”. It was weird to look into a full size mirror and see that new body reflected back at me – and I’m not even to my goal weight yet.
I hope I don’t come across as bragging or pompous. I’m simply trying to convey how different the clothes and shoe shopping experience has been for me lately, and the impact it has had on my emotions. I think the point I’m trying to make is that when I started this journey, one of the things I kept telling myself was that I was ready to feel what it would be like to be thin, slim, trim, and fit. Ever since having my first baby in 1979 and gaining 50 pounds during that pregnancy, I have not been at a healthy, normal weight. I was unsure how being healthy and slim would change my life, my perspective, and my emotions, and I’m just starting to feel the effects of the changes on my psyche. I’ll probably blog more about that as I get it all sorted out, but let me end by saying, although it is exhilarating and motivating, it is also scary and uncharted waters and I’m battling the temptation to sabotage myself out of fear. I’m having to take it a day at a time right now, a meal at a time, and keep moving – sometimes walking, sometimes jogging – but moving forward nonetheless.
Happy Sunday everyone.