Keeping it real.
I’m not perfect. I try to be. I’d love for you to think I am, but that’s not reality. I slip, I fall, but I pick myself right back up and start over again.
I read one of my comments tonight (I read them all) where my bloggy friend, Laura, was talking to me about how she thought of me when she made a really healthy choice for her meal.
“Remembering how you made your dinner selection the other night, I decided on a cup of chicken soup, half of a grilled veggie sandwich, and an apple. I felt very virtuous let me tell you!! And it really was very good! You know, the more careful you are, the better food seems to taste.”
As I read her lovely words, I have to tell you, I was munching down on a fatty bowl of popcorn. There, I said it publicly. I confess. Not making a good choice right at that moment.
Popcorn, with melted light butter, made the old-fashioned way in a pan, is my downfall. That’s my comfort food. I used to have entire meals of popcorn and ice cream. Yeah, that’s what got me to my top weight. And I’m having the hardest time giving it up. I really think I need to just toss it in the trash and get it out of the house.
My weigh in was not good today either. I was up 2.4, but I’ve done that about three times on this journey, and it’s usually followed by that much or more coming off in the next week or two. So, honestly, I’m not worried, but it is indicative of several behaviors:
- I’m not tracking my food diligently
- I’m not drinking enough water
- I’m not sleeping well enough, or long enough
- I’m eating too many carbs (I found those one-calorie bagels and Weight Watchers Whipped Cream Cheese to. die. for.)
- I’m stressed with work deadlines
- I’m not being active enough
- I’m doing too much and not focusing enough on myself and taking care of myself
- I ate out too much when my brother was here
- I got too busy to stop and cook healthy meals
One thing that’s important to me about my weigh loss is that it is sustainable. I’m afraid of gaining weight, but I still eat for the emotional comfort it provides. That’s human. It’s going to take me a while to learn how to not use food to deal with stress but substitute other, more nurturing behaviors. I also know that life events happen and there are going to be weeks where there will be a gain, but that doesn’t mean I have to give up or even feel bad about it.
I don’t feel bad – or guilty – about the weight gain this week. It happens. What matters is that I look at it and see what caused it. I can almost directly link it to food intake. None of this “muscles are heavier than fat, being bloated, too much sodium”, or any other excuse. I just ate poorly and made bad choices all around.
Tomorrow is a new day, and I’m going to keep on keeping it real.
How are you keeping it real?