Dealing with Drama, Walking, maybe even Sewing?
First of all, I can’t seem to shake this fatigue. I know it’s the fibro, but the energy I had seems to have wafted away. I seriously want it back. I *will* get it back.
My friends at Weight Watchers and I started a walking team for the new Weight Watchers Momentum Walk-it challenge. We’re meeting near the lake this morning and picking a new route. I found one that is anywhere from 4-6 miles out and back from our agreed starting point with pretty scenery (see above photo) and some gentle hills, so it should be a good workout.
Yesterday was a very rough day for me. I had some drama at work with a colleague, and that colleague ended up quitting my project. That sort of threw me for a loop because I wondered what I could have or should have done better or differently to make things work between us. We are both very strong, smart, professional people, good at what we do, but we just didn’t mix. Still, I hate it when things like that happen and everyone isn’t happy. I hate drama, period, and go to great lengths to avoid it.
My reaction to this drama was to internalize it all as my fault, and to also want to eat everything in the house. Thank goodness there wasn’t a lot of bad stuff to choose from – it just isn’t here, I don’t stock it anymore – so the worst I did was too many melba toast crackers and a bowl of popcorn with butter. So, I’ll work that off this weekend with the walk, and also a bike ride later, or working in the yard. Still, I was aware that I wanted to eat, so instead, I put my Zune on some loud, upbeat music, cleaned out the cupboards, rearranged the pantry, and scrubbed the dirty fingerprints off the cabinet doors. There, that felt better!
So, today is a new day. The weather promises to be beautiful – high 60s, sunshine – and I hope to enjoy every minute of it. First is the walk, then this afternoon is a jewelry party to go to with my oldest daughter. That will be nice to have time with just her (and probably little baby Evan who I can never get enough of), even though neither of us have money to spend on jewelry right now. Tomorrow we have plans to pressure wash the moss/mildew/whatever off the vinyl siding and gutters of my house saving me a good $300 or more – if the weather holds out. I’m also going to ride my bike at some point, even if it is only three or four miles – I’m determined.
Somewhere in there, I think I’ll be hitting the sewing room. (Gasp!) Yup… I’ve been wandering in there lately looking at, touching, admiring some of my pretty knits for some pretty spring dresses and skirts. I know I have a couple fleece doggie beds to finish up for my brother first, so hopefully I can get those done tonight instead of zoning out on Facebook or staring at the TV. LOL. I’m really in the mood to make something for me for spring, now that the weather promises to be nicer. I think that will also encourage me to stay motivated with my weight loss too. I’m really tired of my one pair of black pants and one nice skirt to wear out anywhere.
I’m leaving the drama behind me today and moving on. I realized that it was my ego that was making me depressed about it all – so what if someone doesn’t like me? I did the best I knew how with the direction I was given. I’m still employed and I’m very grateful for that. I will do the best job I can going forward, and I’m thankful for the confidence my leaders have in my ability and the trust they have in my judgment.
Now to find that energy I had a couple weeks ago…